there is a light (don't let it go out)
by princess amaryllis
Summary: Kunikida is usually the one who ends up fishing Dazai's sorry ass out of trouble. [or the sick-fic nobody asked for but wanted anyways]
_there is a light (don't let it go out)_

Kunikida is usually the one who ends up fishing Dazai's sorry ass out of trouble. [or the sick-fic nobody asked for but wanted anyways]

 _what even is the name for this ship? Kunizai? Dakida? Idfk. Pre-series._

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Kunikida is usually the one who ends up fishing Dazai's sorry ass out of trouble. The reason? Because he got the short fucking end of the stick by having to partner up with him.

And now is no different, even if it's eleven PM and he would really like to _go the fuck to sleep_ but Dazai's probably floating in some river or hanging from a tree and going to scare the fuck out of some poor old lady who happens to find his dead body the next morning.

He finally finds the bastard, floating downstream in the water. Kunikida briefly wonders what sort of shitty miracles need to happen for this dumbass to survive trying to kill himself.

With an irritated huff he stands at the edge of the bank and grabs for Dazai's coat and drags him back on to land. He's alive, of course, but soaked to the bone. He guesses Dazai hasn't been in the water for long; otherwise he would've long since drowned.

Usually he'll just wait a minute or three and he'll wake up on his own, but he's waited for longer than that, and he still hasn't woken up. Frowning, Kunikida snaps his fingers in front of Dazai's unconscious face, hoping to wake him up with the noise.

"Oi. Dazai. Wake up," Kunikida growls loudly, but he makes sure to keep his voice at an acceptable volume; it _is_ half passed eleven.

"Nn," groans Dazai. Taking this as a cue, Kunikida shakes him roughly.

"Wake up. It's eleven thirty PM, and I'd like to get to bed."

Dazai blinks, looking disoriented. If it were anyone but Dazai, Kunikida would've chalked it up as the lack of oxygen but… "Kunikida?" he asks drowsily.

This is Dazai. He'd get up from practically anything, and he's been perfectly fine after trying to drown himself before. Kunikida pushes Dazai's soaked hair aside to press his hand against his forehead and surprise, surprise, it's burning.

"You're a moron," Kunikida tells Dazai.

Dazai laughs faintly. "You tell me that all the time," he says, though his voice sounds tired. "What're you going to do about it?"

"That's not important right now." Kunikida grimaces a little when he realizes Dazai is probably in no shape to get up and walk around. "I'm bringing you home, so you'd better be grateful, you dumb fuck."

The other just laughs again as Kunikida slides his arms underneath Dazai to pick him up. "'M not going to hug you," Dazai says, voice keeping the teasing lilt despite his clear exhaustion.

"That'd be gross," Kunikida grumbles.

Probably just to annoy him, Dazai goes against his previous statement and latches on to Kunikida's neck, much to his displeased surprise. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Grossing you out," Dazai mumbles sleepily. His breath is unnaturally warm against Kunikida's neck.

"And you're not grossing yourself out?"

"'Course I am. But it's totally worth it, 'specially if I'm going to get your clothes wet as well."

Kunikida feels his temper spiking but decides he'll take it out on him when he's not close to delirious. "I hope you actually end up killing yourself one of these days," Kunikida snaps as he struggles to unlock the door to his home.

When he finally gets it open around Dazai's laughing and interference, he not so accidentally hits Dazai's head against the wall before kicking the door shut and locking it. "Ow," whines Dazai pathetically. "S' are you going to keep carrying me or are you going to dump me on your couch?"

He enters the bathroom. "I'm not getting my couch wet." With that, he closes the toilet lid and sits Dazai on it, turning on the hot water to draw a bath.

"Get yourself out of those clothes and if you can, into the bath," Kunikida instructs. "I'll get you a clean set of clothes and dry yours."

Evidently too tired to argue, Dazai doesn't say anything as Kunikida leaves, looking around for something that'll fit for night clothes.

Thankfully Dazai's too tired to be a dick so when Kunikida returns, the wet clothes are in a relatively neat pile. He sets a clean towel and clean clothes on a dry spot before taking the wet clothes to hang out to dry.

"Don't drown yourself in my tub," Kunikida warns.

"Mm," comes the eloquent reply.

Kunikida waits for a while, wondering exactly how long it takes to take a freaking bath as the clock ticks to half passed twelve. "Oi, Dazai." No reply. "Dazai!" he snaps loudly.

There's a splash and a startled sounding noise that Kunikida desperately wishes he could capture with a recorder. Or a camera. "Aa. Fell asleep."

"Moron. Get out of the tub before the water gets cold," Kunikida huffs, and he hears Dazai pull out the stopper so the water can be drained.

Kunikida shoves the towel passed the curtains, which Dazai takes wordlessly. "Clothes are out here. I hope you don't expect me to dress you as well," he adds spitefully.

"That'd be humiliating," Dazai responds distantly, and Kunikida exits, waiting right outside just in case his partner trips and breaks his neck or something. "Or more humiliating than this."

"I will hold this over you," Kunikida informs Dazai.

"Sure, sure." Dazai stumbles out of the bathroom, hair still damp. "'m sleeping on the couch, right?"

"Dry your hair first," Kunikida huffs. "You're going to get whatever you're sleeping on wet. And you're going to get even sicker."

"I love how your priorities are set so straight." Dazai yawns. Kunikida just ignores him and roughly towels his hair dry.

"Ow, that hurts," Dazai complains pathetically, though he's probably doing it on purpose. He just towels that much harder before tossing it back into the bathroom.

"Suck it up." Kunikida briskly runs a hand through Dazai's hair, a little irritated to find it's still damp. "Come on, we're going to have to blow dry your hair."

"Can't I sleep instead?"

"You want a headache even worse in the morning?"

Without waiting for a reply, Kunikida drags him back into the bathroom to dig out a hair dryer. "You want to do it yourself or—" He stops and blinks. "Are you seriously—ugh. You owe me so much," he mutters under his breath.

He turns on the dryer to full power right next to Dazai's ear purely out of spite, and he takes relish in the fact that Dazai starts and nearly gives him a nice shiner. It probably would've worked if Dazai had been fully coherent, but fortunately for him, no.

"You're mean."

Kunikida ignores him and quietly blow dries his hair until it's dry and warm from the heat from the dryer.

"Come on." He lightly swats the back of Dazai's head to snap him out of his daze. "You're sick. I'll be nice this once and let you have the bed. Ass."

"How nice," Dazai murmurs as Kunikida helps him drag his ass to bed. "Guess 'm going to have to pay next time."

"I'm eating you out of your wallet," Kunikida warns as he tosses blankets over Dazai. "For the rest of next week, at least."

Dazai laughs.

(It's totally worth it.)

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 _woohoo. done. I enjoyed writing this._

 _btw I can't be the only one who dozes off whenever somebody helps me blow dry my hair right? …right?_


End file.
